ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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