Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
