How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
