I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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