whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
