just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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