Kiss
Puke
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
