Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
