she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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