Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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