her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
