I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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