i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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