We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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