I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Screwed.edu
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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