and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
