I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
