They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
