I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
