Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Randomize
