She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
