hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
