Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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