Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
