New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
