we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
