I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
