You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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