Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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