And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
