dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's rum buckets o'clock
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
