I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
