i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
that's an acceptable place to lick
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
