Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
3pm strippers are depressing
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
