I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
