5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
