found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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