Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
