Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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