its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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