College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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