and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
