you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
