just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
