I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
