My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
as a side note pls kill me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
