exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
