I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
