I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
