Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
