Christians are straight up FREAKS
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
