well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The adults are the big ones right?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
