Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So squirting runs in the family.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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