..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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