at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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