So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
